VociferousEmpiricist

Be the douche bag wearing two monocles.
You are now the distinguished gentleman wearing classy eye wear.

Your name is KRSNIK HYADES. You come from a long line of EXECUTIONORCISTS, noble warriors sworn to do battle against the LIVING DEAD. Not that you actually believe that rubbish. Ghosts? Rainbow Drinkers? What a crock.

Your trolltag is vociferousEmpiricist and you ''' SPEAK W!+H A FLA!R FOR +HE DRAMA+!C! '''

Examine Fetch Modus
Your BLESSED FETCH MODUS allows you to captchalogue any item after you have cleansed it of all evil influence. The standard PURIFICATION CEROMONY takes 6 days to complete. Luckily after months of rigorous experimentation you have discovered that the ritual can be cut down to 12 minutes if you vigorously dowse the item with HOLY WATER. While this is a vast improvement it’s still pretty time consuming, plus all your belongings tend to get PRETTY SOGGY. Lousy good for nothing ancestors and their stupid made up rituals. It’s enough to drive a man shithive maggots.

Examine Strife Specibus
So far your strife portfolio contains CROSSKIND (the perfect weapon for fighting the undead if they actually existed) and SPRAYBOTTLEKIND (very convenient for performing ritualistic wastes of time). You would later obtain the card for STAKEKIND as a prize from a defeated imp. You wonder why you didn't have that from the begining what with the whole vampire slayer thing you've got going on.

Examine Lusus
Your lusus is a DAYGLIDER; a winged beast that hunts by sunlight. Daygliders closely resemble what we on earth would call a BAT not that you would know of such Earth creatures regardless of whos lusus they looked like. Your lusus spends most of the night sleeping upsidedown so as a custodian he’s pretty damn useless. The things you have to put up with. He died shortly before you entered the medium but was given life once more when he was prototyped with your sprite. Sadly you still could not talk with him because Daygliders communicate through HIGH FREQUENCY SOUND WAVES inaudible to the ears of the average troll. You managed to remedy this problem by prototyping him a second time with a BUST OF YOUR FAVORITE ACTOR.

Examine Interests
As a blue blooded noble you have a number of ACADEMIC PURSUITS. You classify yourself as a STUDENT OF ALL SCIENCES... A fucking abysmal student. Why does science have to be so complicated? It all goes completely over your head. Not that you’d ever admit that, a nobleman has to keep up appearances.

You pride yourself on being a PATRON OF THE ARTS. The walls of your hive are adorned with the FINEST OF PAINTINGS, you have shelves upon shelves of CLASSICAL SLASH FICTION and nothing soothes your weary soul quite like the music of THE GREAT SLAM POETS.

Your true passion however lies in the THEATRE. Oh how you long to an ACTOR. The roar of the crowd, the smell of the grease paint, the allure of show business is intoxicating. Your greatest wish is to follow in the footsteps of your childhood hero TROLL BRIAN BLESSED who in your humble opinion is the greatest actor to have ever lived. You have recently taken up LIVE ACTION ROLE PLAYING as an outlet for your theatrical desires. You consider yourself to have all the makings of a great leading man but all of your friends regard you as a LARGE HAM.

Examine Personality
Most of your friends would describe you as a '''TYPICAL BLUE BLOODED SNOB. You place a great deal of faith in the CASTE SYSTEM''' and consider it a neccessity for maintaining order amongst your chaotic race. You go through great lengths to maintain an image of being a DIGNIFIED NOBLEMAN but your numerous ANGRY OUTBURSTS often betray your true nature. You've found that a good SPRITZ IN THE FACE with one of your SPRAY BOTTLES helps to calm you down but the ever increasing stress you've experienced whilst playing SGRUB have lessened the effectiveness of this coping mechanism. Your love of theatre has bled into your interactions with others. You tend to OVER DRAMATISE EVENTS and you are prone to outbursts of EMOTIONAL THEATRICS.

You are a particularly SKEPTICAL INDIVIDUAL and you find it hard to believe in anything if you don't see it with your own eyes. For example you refuse to believe in the ADVENTURES OF YOUR ANCESTOR because the only evidence you have is from his own memoirs and you believe that the caste system is right because if there truly was a better system it wouldn't still be around. No doubt your title is further evidence of this game's love of irony. You find it difficult to admit to your own faults and deal with your emotional problems. You'll often try to focus on some other task to avoid dealing with the problem if not ignore it all together.

Examine Chumproll
mossGatherer: The two of you have had dealings in the past but it was a strictly business relationship. He was the one who introduced you to FLARP and supplied you with the neccessary equipment. He's obviously trying to hide some kind of MYSTERIOUS SECRET from everyone. It's kind of adorable how he honestly thinks that you don't suspect a thing.

joystickSmackdown: A chilling reminder of the negative effects hours of playing video games and the constant consumption of alien fruit can have on a young mind.

avalancheDetonator: Who?

formidableColonist: Why does he type in gray? You know he's colour blind and all but still how hard is it really to type "COLOUR = GREEN" in a HTML tag?

averageNobody: It takes a very special kind of troll to make somebody like EC look like an aristocrat by comparison. AN is that special troll. Stand up and take a bow.

eldritchCommune: The only thing more appalling to you than his taste in music is his total lack of leadership ability. Such is to be expected when you put a commoner in a position of authority.

stardustTestimony: For all intents and purposes she is the real team leader. You have no idea why she is content to act as second fiddle to EC. Not that you are in any postion to disapprove of her behaviour no matter how questionable you may find it! Honestly you feel very self conscious when talking to someone as high on the hemospectrum as her.

perilousFortune: A fellow blue blood with a passion for fine literature. Truly a man afer your own heart. You are concerned by his timid nature and lack of assertiveness. You suppose that it's a good thing he has you as his server player. No doubt your abundant charisma and confidence will rub off on him.

lernaeanCulinist: Ah your hand picked server player. No doubt her psychic abilities will prove to be a valuable asset for your team. Thankfully she has a proper sense of decorum unlike a couple of other lowbloods you could mention. Perhaps there is hope for the lower castes after all.

Trivia

 * His first name "Krsnik" comes from a figure in Slovenian and Croatian folklore. The Krsnik was a type of vampire hunter whose soul left his body at night to fight his evil vampiric counterpart the Kudlak.
 * His second name "Hyades" comes from a sisterhood of nymphs in Greek mythology who governed the rain. In some myths they served as the tutors of Dionysus the Greek God of wine, ecstasy and theatre.