GuerillaCorallus

Be the Devilishly Handsome Rogue
Your name is Boid Linnaeus.

You are the savviest dude to ever grace the world with his presence. Your tendency toward a combination of unbridled awesome and ridiculous levels of handsome makes you very popular with the ladies, a fact you consider not at all lamentable. You love the sexy chicas, and pursuing them is your favorite, er, pursuit. Your extremely rare bright jade blood makes you a rare daywalking anomaly, able to withstand and enjoy the Alternian sun, and therefore one of the very rare trolls who actually sports a tan. This has been useful in your occupation; you are a corporate spy in the service of Bastet Libera and Oglivy Oorali of Ooralicorp, and being able to sneak around rival companies by day makes you one of the best. As such, you can pretty much name your price, and you do! You live extremely well, and you are a connoisseur of Alternian Low Art-- altogether more enjoyable and beautiful works than High Art, and considerably more expensive. While your feminine conquests are many and varied, it must be noted that you never, ever, ever bring them home with you. Your trolltag is guerillaCorallus and jou are bery flirtatious with the lobely senhoras. <3

Examine Self
'''Drink it in slowly. <3'''

There are very few trolls who are known for being handsome. You are one of those proud few. Between your strong chin, sharp features, dazzling, sharp-toothed smile, and long hair, you are many a young troll girl's fantasy just from the neck up. Throw in a colorful streak of green in your black hair, a pair of sharp horns, a dark gray complexion, and perhaps most importantly, a ripped, muscular chest and stomach, and your smooth, sensual accent is just the icing on the world's most delicious hunk of grazebeast meatcake.

At least, that's what the chicas tell you. You're the kind of troll that makes them blush. If homosexuality was a thing, you would turn straight trolls gay. Men would say, "I'm straight, but I can respect when a man is just smokin' hot." And they would be talking about you. Do they care that you're almost unhealthily obsessed with self-improvement and occasionally diet and exercise yourself to exhaustion in an overzealous effort to maintain your figure? Probably not! You know you should probably stop. But addiction is a powerful thing.

Examine Respiteblock
'''Aha, vut this is for my own eyes only. '''

Your hive is pretty cool. It's not as big as you could afford, but it offers you some nice seclusion, a place to rest and relax without being bothered, deep in the Alternian equatorial jungle, high in a tree. It is your eternal bachelor pad, where you live very comfortably on your enormous Ooralicorp salary. You keep the finest foods money can buy, so long as they won't affect your statuesque figure, and your first floor contains a large room full of expensive exercise equipment. A secret back room houses your hidden shame-- it's packed full of broken equipment, equipment run until it broke long before its warranty was up. You find your self-obsession less shameful if you hide it and just buy new equipment.

You love Alternian Low Art, particularly including exquisite paintings of nude troll women. You often sit and admire them in your study, wearing nothing but a smoking jacket and a pair of comfortable slippers. Alternian Low Art, of course, is in much higher demand than the more cultured but less appreciated High Art, and thus more expensive and a greater status symbol. You have rather a lot of it.

Allocate Strife Specibus
'''And now jou will see why I am the bery vest. <3 '''

Some spies use lots of fancy gadgets, laser beams and watch guns and silenced pistols, but you're an old school sort of guy. You slip around a corner, poke your head around, and scope out two guards in front of the building you need to infiltrate. With a flick of your wrist, with your hand in a ringmail glove, you throw a bladed boomerang and watch it sail through the air. It slices both of their throats open and returns to the same hand that threw it with a soft clink as blade meets armor.

Examine Fetch Modus
'''Neh? This is a trade secret. Vut for jou, chica, perhaps I will explain. <3 '''

What? Do you really have to explain this? It's a tree modus. We know how it works.

Do Something Awesome
'''My most faborite thing to do! '''

You burst suddenly through a skylight feet-first and bring both feet down on a particularly villainous CEO's face just in time to save the Love Interest from his perverse and cruel clutches! After a short repartee, you successfully push him off the catwalk and into a vat of deadly chemicals, which dissolve him into a smear of grease.

Do Something Incredibly Silly
'''Neber underestimate the balue of a good chord. '''

"Consider your assets," you say, suddenly pressing a button, causing a speaker in your sylladex to play a dramatic strain on a guitar, "Liquidated." The Love Interest seems terrified because you just killed her sweet, caring environmentalist CEO matesprit, but that's okay, you're pretty sure you'll have her on her knees by lunch anyway.

Psychic
'''Jou really think I need mind control to get what I want? '''

Pfeh! Not a chance. You have no psychic powers. With a body like yours, what would you need those for?

Physical
'''Perfect, a pure paragon! <3 '''

You take great care in maintaining your body. In addition to your peak physical condition, including great strength, speed, and endurance, you are double-jointed and incredibly flexible. This makes it easy for you to slip into tight spaces (hurr hurr) and get your job done (hurr hurr hurr). Your favorite form of exercise is racing your tree boa lusus in tree-climbing contests.

Trivia

 * Boid has unusual curved teeth that look good when he smiles-- so long as his teeth are closed. When they're apart, they look terrifying.  They also make it very hard to chew, so he always cuts his food into very small bites to eat it.
 * He doesn't really care about the redrom status of the women he takes an interest in. At all!  Or their hemospectrum status.  Or their personal status in relation to him.  Or their political status.  Off the job, he'll hit on them.
 * Boid keeps a speaker in his sylladex, which he activates so that it plays from within his sylladex so everyone in his vicinity can hear it. He uses it to play dramatic guitar strains when he does something... dramatic!
 * He's a bit of a hemospectrum snob, but only with men. If a girl is cute-- and he thinks most all girls are cute-- he won't care what her blood color is, but he sneers at any man with blood below green.

Examine Chumproll

 * ChillyParamedic - Such a pretty chica! <3 Ah, vut so cold...
 * ConcreteTechnocrat - Not worth my time. I hab vetter things to do than deal with lowvlooded pups.
 * ConstitutionalAbsence - My pretty kitty! The vlooming rose.  And jet, out of reach~!
 * InfiniteAvarice - The voss, and the reason I do not... make a mobe on the pretty kitty.
 * TentacleReign - <font color=#33CC33>Her Imperial Condescension! And quite a tasty Condescension she is~! <3
 * TheoreticalDetective - <font color=#33CC33>An enigma, and one I am curious to learn more avout...