CannonForger

>Be the cannon chick
Your name is Verisa Alkani.

You are Alternia's premier CANNONSMITH, crafting unique instruments of explodey death for any who would pay you. You take your craft rather seriously, and a good half of your hive is occupied by your forge. You collect ANTIQUE FIREARMS and CANNONS in probable relation to your occupation. Though some would probably get sick of the things after making them all day long, you can't get enough. Despite your rather BURLY APPEARANCE you do have a soft spot, though you do your best to conceal it. You have a bit of an obsession with the show ADORABLE ANTHROPOMORPHIC SQUID. You can't help it! They're just soooo adorable! But you can't have anyone you know ever finding out. It would totally ruin your reputation!

You have A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS outside of business contacts, but most of them started out as business contacts, anyway... You aren't very quick to make friends either. Probably something to do with your personality. Oh, by the way! Your trolltag is cannonForger  and '''You! tend! to! bark! out! every! word!! '''

And yes, you are a blueblood. Sometimes it gets to your head.

>Examine chumproll
catastrophicAggregate - Total asshole, but may prove a useful ally sometime later. Assuming he doesn't stab your back first. Dude's a mad genius... Emphasis on "mad." He's like an angry little commandant.

luckyProfiteer - What a chump! He's a manipulative bastard, sure, but CA pretty much has him outmatched in that category. Only thing he has going for him is he's actually a bit of a fighter (or so you've heard).

plentifulMaze - What a loser. Forced to be CA's "minion." Now the guy pretty much can't express his opinion without reprimand. You can't help but pity the lowblood, but you'll have to treat him like crap while you work with CA.

aerialEquinox - Potentially valuable customer, what with his airships being completely unarmed. Kind of a decent guy too, from the conversations you've had, and he's a troll of equal blood level to boot.

remnantScavenger - One of your best customers over the years. Leader of an outfit called the Bombardmarauders, and it can be assumed he's put your cannons to great use... against guys like AE. Okay, you feel a little bad about that, but all's fair in love, war, and business.

breezyAnalyst - Haven't talked to her much, but she seems too hyper and airheaded for her own good. And then there's the potential for something between her and AE...

errantFlotilla - Your bestest buddy! You and her have spent years hanging out together, occasionally travelling and beating up flarpers for fun. Ahh, good times... Good times.

feignpetrification - No idea what's up with this guy. Every time he opens his mouth it's like he's scared shitless that he'll die midsentence. And sometimes he does... Freak.

>Allocate Strife Specibus
'''Peace! through! superior! firepower,! indeed!!'''

You've long been using Cannonkind. Really kind of a no-brainer. You're an old hand with them, too. One time you blew up a ship that was merely a speck on the horizon without even taking proper aim... Of course with such heavy firepower it's not exactly necessary to take aim unless something's reeeaaally far away, but still!

>Examine Fetch Modus
'''Oh! fuck! yes! time! to! strike! some! highs!! Whatever! that! means!!'''

You use the TOTALLY PRACTICAL High Striker Modus. It sorts items by usefulness into tiers on a virtual High Striker... You're generally very good at getting the topmost ones, but getting those in the middle can be a little tricky. Just a little.

>Do Something Awesome
'''Bada! bing,! bada! fucking! boom!!'''

Sure, why not? You shoot a cannon into the water near your hive... Wait for it... The explosion blasts a good two dozen gillbeasts out of the water. Dinner is fucking served.

>Do Something Silly
'''...I! can't! believe! I! took! that! job!!'''

You proceed to finish up the giant plush cannon somebody requested. Gog. Look at this thing, with the googly eyes and the jingle bells. You can hardly comprehend the sort of mind that would demand something this asinine.

The 8 Trolled Expedition of Sky Pirates Science (T8TEoSPS)
You joined in on luckyProfiteer's offer to create a team and escape the METEOR MADNESS OMGOMG that had begun enveloping Alternia. (gonna have LP write the reeesssstttt.)