AbstraclyAwesome

You are now the grammer nazi- I mean Rayine Aprell. You tend to be awesome in every abstract way. One of those ways happens to include playing a fucking ancient piano. Because of this you CONSTANTLY have to explain to other trolls what a god damn piano is. You also tend to - in particular - LOVE playing Midna's Desperate Hour on it. You have a love-hate relationship with the Legend of Zelda, but no, really, screw Tingle.

your first encounter with Tingle is on the north side of Clock Town, And when you pop his bAlloon thAt I Am leAd to believe thAt he is hAnging from by his underweAr, he'll sell you two mAps: one of which is Clock Town thAt costs 10 rupees, And the Southern SwAmp mAp thAt costs 50, BUT, when you run into Tingle AgAin in the southern swAmp, suddenly, the price for the swAmp mAp drops down significAntly, but the mAp for Clock town goes up by 50 rupees or something. And i Am Almost positive he sells Another mAp for the next locAtion thAt you will be heAded to, which costs wAy more thAn it should, not to mention how pointless it would be to buy mAps for plAces you are not Able to explore yet. oh, And don't even get me stArted on how Annoying his stupid god damn cAtchphrAse is. I cAn't even begin to imAgine whAt kind of hAvoc he would cAuse if you prototyped him, probAbly mAking you pAy with something for every Answer you seek, fucking cheApass motherfucker. he mentions thAt he is 36 yeArs old And still looking for A fAiry, but not knowing why one hAsn't ApproAched him yet, though I think the reAson is pretty obvious, whAt with him being some old fucking creep who is still obsessed with hAving A fAiry, selling mAps to rAndom people with An over enthusiAstic personAlity while doing so. you would bAsically hAve some creepy elf following you everywhere, screAming “Tingle Tingle Kooloo LimpAh!” every fucking time he defeAts something, if he would even be Active enough to do such A thing As that (note: not very likely). Tingle pisses me off on so mAny motherfucking levels, it's not even comprehensible if I tried to put it into words. i cAn't fAthom why the creAtor of thAt gAme would put someone so pointless into MAjorA's MAsk if he isn't even a cruciAl chArActer of the gAme in any sense whAtsoever. he is nothing but A disgrAce to the Legend of ZeldA series, An AbominAtion in every literAl sense. hAve you even looked At his clothing in gAme? god, i don't know whAt the fuck his dAd wAs thinking when he would let A guy As old As Tingle outside to sell mAps while he floAts from his fucking underweAr. surely it must hAve crossed his mind thAt his son looks like A fucking pedophile, probAbly shAming his fAmily nAme, which I hAve yet to find out. no wonder A fairy won't come to him, one glAnce his wAy And they'll be flying for the hills. holy shit, mAybe thAt's why All the fAiry's in every single dungeon you explore Are scAttered, trying to find their wAy bAck to the fAiry temple thing, too terrified to move without the feAr of running into Tingle AgAin. mAybe Tingle went to every single GreAt FAiry in Hyrule, Asking if he could hAve A fAiry or A wish, whAtever the cAse mAybe, but once the GreAt FAiry tAkes one glAnce At Tingle, she splits up into 15 fAiry's And scAtters herself All over A dungeon where she thinks she is sAfe from Tingle, knowing thAt Link will come to sAve her soon. holy shit, mAybe it wAsn't the Skull Kid, but Tingle All Along. MAYBE TINGLE WANTED TO GET REVENGE ON EVERYONE BECAUSE THEY ALL LAUGHED AT HIM FOR BEING A 36 YEAR OLD PEDOPHILE, LOOKING FOR A FAIRY THAT WILL NEVER COME TO HIM. MAYBE HE WAS SELLING THOSE MAPS BECAUSE HE WANTED TO RACK UP SOME MONEY AND SEE IF HE COULD BRIBE THE GREAT FAIRY INTO GETTING WHAT HE WANTS. WHAT IF SKULL KID IS TINGLE? HOLY SHIT, I CAN'T. FUCK

You occasionally go on rants. But only about things you are especially passionate about. Like- no, never mind, we're not doing this again.