ProRetro

Be the gamer.
Can do. Your name is SIRTEN DOSTET, and you were just about to finish TROLLTRA for the THIRD TIME on your Nintrolldo ES. But you can PAUSE it for a moment for this. Your trollTag is proRetro and you type too fast to keep up sometimes\\\

Examine hive.
It's a MESS right now, with NINTROLLDOS and TROLLSTATIONS everywhere. There appears to be a TROLLBOY ADVANCE in your RECUPERACOON. Woops.

Examine self.
You DON'T REALLY WANT TO, but OKAY. You are QUITE TALL and LANKY. Your arms are NOT VERY MUSCULAR at all, and on your BAD DAYS you look more like a WALKING CORPSE. You have a TENDENCY to go SHIRTLESS, but you do wear a nice fancy jacket with your SYMBOL on it.

Examine personality
You are much FRIENDLIER than trolls SHOULD BE. You were probably DROPPED AS A WRIGGLER, or at least that's what gT OFTEN CLAIMS. You CAN be VIOLENT should you need be, but you really DON'T LIKE TO, and need SUFFICIENT REASON to do so. You TRY to get along with EVERYBODY, and don't like it when other trolls FIGHT.

Examine Lusus.
Your LUSUS is a large RAMBEAST, that likes to CHARGE YOU and threatens to BREAK your newly acquired EYEWEAR. No, you're not talking about your EYEWEAR now, it's none of your BUSINESS. Now is the time for LUSUS DISCUSSIONS. Your RAMBEAST LUSUS gets INCREDIBLY IRRITABLE, and you DREAD FEEDING IT. But you HAVE TO, or it would STOMP on your precious NINTROLLDOS and TROLLSTATIONS. Oh no!

Examine Eyewear.
Oh fine. Your EYEWEAR is a pair of AVIATORS you were GIVEN as a GIFT. Are you HAPPY now?

State trivial facts.

 * Your name is kind of complicated but breaks down like this: Sirten = Sir + Ten Dostet = Dos + Tet. Sir + Tet = Sirtet = Tetris. Ten = NinTENdo. Dos is, well, Dos.
 * Your strife specibus is a TROLLSTATION CONTROLLER, which you use surprisingly effectively as a whip. It doesn't work as a controller anymore, you tried. But it does look cool as a weapon
 * Your symbol, the Asterism, is styled in such a way that it looks like three D-Pads. You think that's pretty cool.