BygoneLibrarian

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Be the PRISSY KNOW-IT-ALL
Your name is ROMEDA GNARSH.

Unlike other trolls, you give great consideration to THOSE THAT CAME BEFORE YOU, primarily the THOUSANDS OF RACES your species has conquered. You do your best to learn their stories and folklore, but as many (re: all) of them have been banned from Alternia, this is VERY DIFFICULT. You love stories of all sorts, and constantly STUDY and OVERANALYZE them. You believe that your constant research into literature gives you a great boon with your own writing, but you are still ONLY AVERAGE.

You believe that history is the GREATEST STORY OF THEM ALL, which most of your colleagues believe is BULLSHIT. They especially believe this when they hear YOUR IMPROMTPU LECTURES ON YOUR RESEARCH, which you are prone to giving. Still, at least you know some stuff. Most of your time is spent reading and doing research, though you also enjoy MODIFYING AND REPAIRING TIMEKEEPERS. You began this practice as a way to remind you that the past is ALWAYS IMPORTANT.

Your standards for nourishment are RIDICULOUSLY HIGH, and you often claim to have ALLERGIES to certain foods to avoid eating them. This ploy virtually never works, and you are instead forced to seethe. Most of all, you despite the ODORUS BULBS commonly found in NOODLESAUCE.

You tend to be CONFUSED AS FUCK when having to discuss your feelings and emotions. It’s not that you don’t have them; it’s just that they’re not anybody else’s fucking business. Because of this, you to avoid all discussions on the subjects of ROMANCE and BLOOD.

Your trolltag is bygoneLibrarian, and you speak in a whimsicai, if occasionally seif-centered fashion. This means that you rareiy use the iowercase form of the ietter ‘l,’ and that you make sure to emphasize your one-word sentences and conjunctions. OBVIOUSLY.

Examine Self
You are a GREENBLOOD of SEVEN SWEEEPS. You are of average height, and perhaps slightly above average weight, due to your FONDNESS FOR HIGH-GLUCOSE FOODS. Despite this, you are prone to SURPRISINGLY QUICK BURSTS OF SPEED; though these only come you’re almost discovered while retrieving your ALIEN CONTRABAND. You do not tend to notice much in the realm of FASHION, preferring garments that are COMFORTABLE and CLEAN over anything remotely STYLISH. This is best shown by your favorite KNOTTED NECKPIECE, which you are rarely seen without. Additionally, you have small groups of HEAVILY PIGMENTED DOTS on your face. Some Trolls note that it increases PITY towards you. You have no opinion.

Examine Hive
Your hive is QUITE CLUTTERED, though you know where everything is, thanks to your IMPRESSIVE MEMORY. It’s mostly filled with FICTITIOUS BOOKS, HISTORICAL BOOKS, BOOKS ABOUT FICTITIOUS BOOKS, and PAPERS COVERING ONE OF THE ABOVE TOPICS. It should be quite clear that you REALLY ENJOY READING AND ANALYZING THIS. You also have two WOODEN DESKS, one for composing your own SHORT STORIES AND CRITICISM, and one for REPAIRING TIMEKEEPERS. Your walls are adorned with them; their soft ticking and melodic chiming calms you. Additionally—and most important, in your eyes—is your COLLECTION OF ALIEN CONTRABAND, SCAVANGED FROM CONQUERED WORLDS. These are very important. Nobody knows about them, and they must be kept a secret. Otherwise, you would surely be CULLED.

This is boring. Where’s your Lusus?
That should be him right now. He is Merrl, a LARGE OWLBEAST, and enjoys its perch OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW. He doesn’t exactly UNDERSTAND your interest in inferior cultures, and you believe that DOES NOT APPROVE. Last 12th Perigree's Eve, however, he gave you A PIECE OF MARKED PAPER from one of the more recent acquisitions to the Empire. You were VERY TOUCHED. The only thing sharper than Merrl’s DISAPPROVING GLARES are his FEATHERS.

Yeah, whatever. Allocate Strife Specibus.
It’s already allocated, slimebrain! It has been set to QUILLKIND for ages.

What kind of lame weapon is that?
They’re picked from Merrl’s feathers. They're very sharp.

>Fine. Examine Fetch Modus.
Your Fetch Modus is set to TIMEKEEPER modus. Shaped like a circle, it automatically clicks through items at a rate of ONE ITEM PER SECOND. In order to draw out the desired item, you must wait until it is currently HIGHLIGHTED. It is possible to freeze your modus on A SPECIFIC ITEM, but you don’t really like to do this.

>Evaluate Abilities
You’ll need to be more specific.

Psychic Abilities, then.
You do not have any PSYCHIC ABILITIES! However, your memory is VERY ACCURATE. While most people forget things over time, you do not. You have all of your memories, from when you were barely two solar sweeps old. Thankfully, you’re able to ignore most UNNECESSARY SHIT in favor of reciting passages from your RESEARCH.

Evaluate Physical Abilities.
Shouldn’t your impressive brain be enough?

No. Wuss.
Fine. It’s true, your STRENGTH and STANIMA are somewhat poor. You can occasionally move RATHER QUICKLY, though it does leave you OUT OF BREATH for some time afterwards.

Do Something Highly Awesome
Oh, just watch. You write an extensive essay on THE USE OF FORESHADOWING in several books you’ve recently read. Look at that essay. It’s beautiful. It’s going to set the fucking academic world ON FIRE.

Do Something Incredibly Silly
You print out an additional copy of the essay and WEAR IT AS A HAT. It falls off.

Do Something Very Illegal
You have no idea what this means. You would never dream of doing anything against ALTERNIAN LAW. You POINTEDLY DO NOT LOOK at your collection of ALIEN CONTRABAND.